you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
