Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
