East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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