Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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