I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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