I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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