it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
