Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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