i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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