You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
