You just made me feel so damn special
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize