put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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