I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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