Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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