I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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