i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
