he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
