I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I need a beard to bite.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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