And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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