It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think I won the penis lottery.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
