Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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