i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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