i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This gyro tastes like lonliness
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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