apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You have to summon your inner elephant
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
