So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it glows. i had to have it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
