I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Randomize
