i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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