You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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