there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
