Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
