She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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