i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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