ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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