Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
