Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
