Please, let me fuck your mom
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
