it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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