Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Let's get the cat blown out
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
