Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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