I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
