woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize