I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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