I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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