We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
