so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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