i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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