Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
