Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
