Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
