for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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