I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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