No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
