How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
