just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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