textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
my liver is dry heaving
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize