I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
