I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Boobs speak an international language.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm like, not good at living.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
