false alarm. still invincible.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
