whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
