Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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