Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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