dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
