Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
