What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
